'A boyfriend box': Women discuss what to do with ex-partner photos and memorabilia during the era of infinite access to media

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Elna McHilderson • Managing Editor
Nov 28, 2023 1:00 PM EST

Remember the early 2000s when you would bring your digital camera everywhere with you? Or even further back when you had a film camera glued to your eye? With those, you only had a certain amount of photos you could take: Digital cameras only had so much memory space and film cameras only had so many shots. So when a relationship ended, you maybe had one photo album of memorabilia to get rid of. But now, you can basically take infinite photos and video and screen shots and voice messages etc.! That means you're going to have way more than an albums worth of heartbreak. Women on Reddit have gathered to discuss what to do now with all of this access to infinite media after a breakup? Do you keep the thousands of pieces of content you have of your past relationship or do you delete them? Do you really want to lose that many memories of your life? Or maybe it's inappropriate to keep them once you find a new somebody? What do you think? 

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  • 01
    Posted by u/imafirinmalazarr 1 day ago What do you do with pictures of you exes? What do you do with pictures you have on your phone of your exes? Do you delete them or do you keep them?
    via u/imafirinmalazarr
  • 02
    Cheezburger Image 9843310592
    via Mart Production via Pexels
  • 03
    wild flowery 1 day ago If they were long relationships, I save them in a box that I save random things also from my childhood in, etc. Or on my flash drive of all photos in a separate folder. I do it for old lady me. She might want to see them one day.
    via u/wild_flowery
  • 04
    . wild flowery 1 day ago I also encourage my husband to keep the photos of his... I try to encourage him to take the good memories and leave the bad and have love in his heart still.
    via u/wild_flowery
  • 05
    sgsmopurp 23 hr. ago This. I dump everything off of my phone and throw it onto my computer. I have a boyfriend box that goes back to high school lol cards, pics, small gifts
    via u/sgsmopurp
  • 06
    Elegant_momof2 19 hr. ago I do it for old lady me see YESSSS!!! Better know it! We will probably enjoy them at that age. Sadly, my fb was hacked and 25 years worth of memories just gone!!!! I have some still on Google photos but not like good ole Facebook :( I enjoy them now actually. :(
    via u/Elegant_momof2
  • 07
    sheephulk 21 hr. ago I do this too. And also in case my daughter wants to see it, maybe in her teens when she starts experiencing relationships and heartbreaks
    via u/sheephulk
  • 08
    goldenpretzels · 17 hr. ago I have done this too. Mostly because I was with someone through most of my 20s and I want my children to see pictures of me at 19 and 27. I don't want to hide a part of my life that shaped me into who I am today & think it'll be a huge story in my life.
    via u/goldenpretzels
  • 09
    brynleeholsis This. I have a folder that my partner is aware of and cool with. The relationships were important parts of my life, and erasing the photos will erase some really nice memories 16 hr. ago
    via u/brynleeholsis
  • 10
    Ms_Evey I get rid of everything, it's easier for me to move on that way 1 day ago
    via u/Ms_Evey
  • 11
    Wahyte 1 day ago It's no hold backs, everything goes. You cut part of yourself to stop the spread of a disease.
    via u/Wahyte
  • 12
    Cheezburger Image 9843306240
    via u/oRiskyB
  • 13
    youaretherevolution 14 hr. ago Ot Three years of marriage. I threw out everything. Wedding photos, invitations, etc. I wish I could get Google Photos to stop sending me memories.
    via u/youaretherevolution
  • 14
    Daddyz-bby-grl. 1 day ago I deleted every pic of him in those vacations. I will always remember he was there but I never want to see his face again.
    via u/Daddyz-bby-grl
  • 15
    . Specialist Jump7987 1 day ago Once we're over I delete every picture and every text message, I also throw away letters, etc. 303 Reply Share ReplacementVisible77 · 21 hr. ago Now that sounds a bit extreme. If you remove all the memoirs isn't this like forgetting and throwing X years of your happy/unhappy memories and life down the drain?
    via u/Specialist_Jump7987
  • 16
    dddbbbkkkeee 21 hr. ago I'm only responding because I do the same thing as the commenter - for me, I don't need any physical memoirs to remind me of times in my life. Usually, even with friendships, if I've decided to move on from a relationship and there is hurt or little/no desire to reconnect, I don't see why I'd ever want to revisit or reminisce.
    via u/dddbbbkkkeee
  • 17
    Memoirs and photos for me are so that I can look back at important or happy memories in my life - or even sad with people I care about. A breakup for me, unless I share children with the person or it was truly mutual with nothing but good intentions, means I am fully moving on and that includes not looking "back" through momentos. I know everyone is different though!
    via u/dddbbbkkkeee
  • 18
    pushk_a 20 hr. ago Likewise. I don't want to be reminded of how painful it was and how trapped I felt. You can delete all the pictures and burn the letters, but the memories are still there. Those are more than enough.
    via u/pushk_a
  • 19
    thesixthamethyst. 1 day ago I get rid of everything. I'm not sentimental and I don't get anything emotionally out of reminiscing on an old relationship. I'm married with kids and old boyfriends simply don't have space in this wonderful life I have now.
    via u/thesixthamythest
  • 20
    RedEyesAndDespair 1 day ago I have a hidden folder on my PC named "The Ex-Files". Even though it was a traumatic breakup and not at all how I wanted things to end, I just don't think I should throw away and completely forget those 6 years of my life. No matter how devastating the end was, I still spend 6 years with this person, and it wasn't all bad all the time. I haven't opened the folder since I made it, it just kinda sits there as a distant memory
    via u/RedEyesAndDespair
  • 21
    minty_dinosaur . 1 day ago i keep them all, unless it was super traumatic. with most, i had an important connection that shaped me into who i am today. we broke up for good reasons, but there still are good memories attached to them, as well as their pictures.
    via u/minty_dinosaur
  • 22
    Front-Finish187 - 1 day ago I keep 1-2 things as a momento, anything more than that is unnecessary and disrespectful to any current partners.
    via u/Front-Finish187
  • 23
    ghxoools 1 day ago I still have them all. They are all people who have shaped me into the person I am today, and to me it's never crossed my mind to erase any of that. The pics pop up from time to time and if anything, transport me back to a particular time in my life rather than have me thinking specifically about my ex.
    via u/ghxoools
  • 24
    Rrralesh 1 day ago . I don't hold on to the past. I don't delete out of bitterness but I don't keep pictures of us together. If a picture appears of a place that we went to, as long as the ex isn't in it, I keep it.
    via u/Rrralesh

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